"We choose to [go to the Moon in this decade and] do [the other] things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard"
~ John F. Kennedy
I can't say I'd typically consider myself the sort of person to enthusiastically quote a US President, but there's certainly something to that oft-stated line in JFK's infamous address on the 1960's US space effort. It was a wild time in human history, and despite the shadowy motivators that ultimately drove the mission onward, the fact is that it demonstrated that we as a species are not limited to the world that we know.
In my eyes, it's a monumentous point to prove, and one I find to be highly admirable. I don't consider myself as being a fan of resting on ones laurels. If anything, I find it tedious and boring, and find far greater satisfaction in the trials of exploration, no matter how ruthless or daring the unknown may be.
Generally speaking, I'm not particularly enthused about talking about myself from an identity perspective. What sense of identity I have around who I am, has mostly come from working out what I am not. I see more value in self-reflection through the lens of other people, and as such, I chose to use the prompts for this post in asking my closed-circuit collection of human connections as to what they perceived my values to be.
Amusingly, "philosophically inclined" was one response. "Chaotic neutral" was another, stated by someone with whom I share a somewhat absurdist sense of humour.
One of the more serious responses came from someone with whom I spent some years serving as a governing member of an incorporated society, overseeing the administration and operations of an annual 5-day alternative community festival.
"I think you value being pragmatic (so don't suffer fools lightly), a strong sense of justice, and a desire for epicurean hedonism. You have a strong work ethic, particularly when you feel like it's towards a good cause."
This was a project in which we were routinely required to handle and take decisive action on a myriad of challenging and sensitive topics including abuse, sexual assaults, near-fatal accidents, and extremely hazardous activities. This was in addition to working out the complex logistics of a uniquely structured event that grew rapidly in size and scale over the course of my four-year tenure, involving a myriad of people from wildly differing walks of life, in an environment where all are encouraged and enabled to express their most strongly held views.
Overseeing the event and its community was a relentless, wholly immersive exercise in civic responsibility, diplomacy, balance, and compromise, that to this day continues to serve as a valuable point of reference in managing interpersonal relationships, as well and both creative and professional projects of all natures and kinds.
This community is/was my culture. They are the people with whom I have been able to share countless intrepid experiences, learn, develop, and grow with. All whilst accomplishing all manners of absurdly adventurous things. When I put forward the aforementioned question of what my values were perceived to be, they are the ones who reflected upon me:
"Creativity, consideration, care, understanding detail/nuance, micro/macro, enchantment, joy/play"
"Attention to detail, holding yourself to high quality standards, authenticity"
"Outwardly altruistic, but internally conflicted by having to navigate within a capitalist world. Enjoys challenge and hedonistic reward stuctures"
"Truth, kindness, creativity. Making the world better. Being informed and helping other people to learn. That said, those are the impressions I had a lifetime ago. But you were always such a positive, thoughtful presence."
"Open, kind, accepting, studious, pragmatic"
My view of personality tests is one of taking things with grains of salt. For curiosity I completed the VIA Institute's questionnaire as suggested in the initial brief of this page, and whilst it returned some clear consistencies with what my human connections have reflected upon me, it also ranked lowly some of the things that I know I value most. Love, forgiveness, self-regulation, hope, and perseverance, amongst other things.
Perhaps, if there's anything I value above all, it's being able to look at how we're reflected upon by others, through the experiences that we share.
Reflections help us understand who we are, not who we ultimately think we are, and I am aware of the double-edged nature of this. For all of my self-awareness, I am aware that I've never felt comfortable with self-aggrandising. I'm not particularly motivated towards self-recognition, and wielding ones achievements with the intent of advancing ones pursuits, and I'm well aware that I'll have missed many opportunities because of it.
Such modesty often carries the flipside of being a bit too self-reliant, and I've had to in a sense teach myself to be more forward with asking for assistance when it's needed. The key thing I've found is to turn it around with curiosity, in that we're all in it together, and life is more fun when we're helping each other accomplish difficult things.